Our old friend and new father,
Mat Bird, weighs in with a clever contribution to this thread that he has gleaned from various articles over the years:
+ Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.
+ Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.
+ Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don’t.
+ Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans mounth them on the wall.
+ Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republicans, but feel they’re entitled to a little fun first.
+ Democrats have chapped hands and headaches. Republicans have tennis elbow and gout.
+ Republicans think L.L. Bean is a preppy mail order house in Maine. Democrats think it’s a rare form of environmentally correct coffee.
+ Democrats drive Chevrolets but yearn secretly for BMWs. Republicans drive BMWs and yearn publicly for Chevrolet-sized car payments.
+ Republicans ask, “Is it Miss or Mrs.?: Democrats don’t ask.
+ Republicans tell you which college their children attend. Democrats tell you which courses their children are taking and how well they’re doing.
+ Republicans kiss the air beside the cheek. Democrats plant wet sloppy ones.
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